End of the dream
by pala19
Summary: Ch1: Before long there were Kaneki and Ken. Kaneki was a shy boy; Ken a was frightened child locked in a flat with his psychotic mother. Ch2: The day Kaneki's mother died, when Hide saw despair hidden deep within Kaneki's eyes, he decided to help his friend in any way he could.
1. Chapter 1

Something that poped up in my mind few days ago and just couldn't stay inside. My thoughts about Kaneki/Haise's state of mind.

Sorry about any grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.

 **CAUTION! SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 53 OF TG:RE!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul.**

* * *

Little Ken was suffering, ever since his kind, smiling mother had hit him for the first time. His image of her had been distorted and his sanity was slowly decaying. On a good day, she would smile tiredly asking him to read in his room quietly. On a bad day, she would be slapping him harshly for wanting something she couldn't afford. She would be hitting him for demanding attention.

Before long there were Kaneki and Ken.

Kaneki was a shy boy; in school he was always sitting alone with his head buried in book. He never talked with other kids, only spoke, when he was asked to.

Ken was frightened child locked in a flat with his psychotic mother. Too scared to stay there and too scared to leave altogether. In the situation without solution, without escape.

Kaneki had found a friend, a sunshine, that had brightened the lonely life he led with his constantly working mother. Rays of the sun warmed up his soul, that felt broken for unnamed reason.

Ken's eyes long ago lost its shine. Heavy curtains hanged by his mother had since long ago immerged his room in darkness. He was always alone in her presence.

Kaneki wanted many things. He wanted a new book, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Hide, before his friend's mother would call him back home. He longed to spend more time with his mother. He needed her attention.

Ken wanted... nothing. Nothing. NOTHING.

 _Mommy, I'm sorry. I don't need anything!_

…

…

 **He only wanted to die.**

Kaneki loved his mother. He cried for a very long time after her death. Even Hide couldn't reach out to him during his time of mourning.

Ken loved his mother. He took her death a chance to leave everything in Kaneki's hands and submerged himself deep into their consciousness. Surely, Kaneki will find his way into this very pit of despair and grand Ken's wish.

Surely…

* * *

"Can you manage it?"

Haise's eyes were calm and ice-cold. Blood streamed down his face from his completely drenched hair.

"Yeah…"

Ken smiled visibly pleased.

Finally…

* * *

Update: [02.12.2015]


	2. Chapter 2

Well, that's what happens, when you start reading many theories about Hide's disappearance... Well, it's more my study about his actions in TG... Came to my mind after many re-readings of ch.136...  
It's linked to the previous story, obliviously.  
Once again, sorry for my English. I wrote it in the last 2 hour as a way relax after a few stressful weeks at University.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul.  
SPOILERS TILL CH57 of TG:re.**

* * *

„ _All this time you've had to suffer like this… You won't need this mask anymore.",_ Tokyo Ghoul, chapter 136 p.16

* * *

" _I already knew, man! Who cares about that, let's just go home", blonde grinned happily, his hand resting on Kaneki's shoulder._

* * *

Hide came to learn about Kaneki's dissociative identity disorder, when they both were about eight years old. After Kaneki had bidden him goodbye at the usual place, where their routes split, he followed him instead of going home. Over 10 years later he still didn't know, what he had wanted to accomplish that day. Maybe he had been simply curious about Kaneki's house? He'd never been there.

Well, curiosity killed the cat, as the saying goes.

He remembered 'till today, how Kaneki's attitude had changed since the moment he had unlocked his house door. His sparkling eyes, full of eagerness to meet his mother had suddenly lost its color. His posture slouching, his hand reluctantly pulling the door open.

Hide's heart had been pounding loudly, as he had observed Kaneki closing the door. It hadn't stop its irregular beating even when he'd gotten back home. Gears in his brain couldn't stop and had kept on turning.

He had dreaded facing Kaneki the next day. But his kind, shy Kaneki hadn't changed at all. For a short amount of time he had been sure he was imagining things the day before. But that uncomfortable feeling in his gut had stayed.

After few sleepless nights spent on thinking about it and days spent on closely observing Kaneki he had decided to stalk his friend again and halt his train of thoughts. Oh, how he wished now he hadn't.

* * *

" _I… I want to help you!", declared young man with a troubled expression on his face, his finger scratching his face, eyes looking everywhere but at the person he spoke to._

" _Hide… I hear these voices… Run away or I'll–_

* * *

Witnessing Kaneki's mother beating her own son had been a traumatic and eye-opening experience. He was sure a scream had broken from his throat, but went unnoticed due to Kaneki's screams being that much louder in the closed room.

That day, he came to a realization he never knew his best friend.

That day, he became angry with Kaneki for not saying anything and cried loudly for a long time.

That day, he learned what multiple personality disorder is.

The day Kaneki's mother died, when he saw despair hidden deep within Kaneki's eyes, he decided to help his friend in any way he could.

* * *

" _Sorry… Can you fight with all you've got just one more time?", pleaded Hide, watching Kaneki's mask disintegrating._

" _Since there is only one way into the abyss–_

* * *

"Associate Special Class Sasaki, meet Special Class Nagichika. He just came back from Germany, he'll be working with us on the next case", said Akira with smile.

Hide observed calmly as Sasaki's eyes widened with surprise, but quickly came back to that empty look Hide recognized instantly despite seeing it only one in his life. He couldn't help, but smile widely.

"Nice to meet you, Associate Special Class Sasaki. Hope you'll treat me well", he said outstretching his hand for a shake.

 _I will play along with this game of pretending. I will support you no matter what… Even if there is only death in your desired path…_


End file.
